In the middle of a binge.  I feel like shit but i can't stop.  I'll be back wehn i can do better.

                                                                           -Lola

I'm feeling a little bit like I don't know how to feel right now.  I binged after i wrote earlier but not too badly.  I had 2 granola bars (360 c), a second pack of crackers (60c), a little bit of ramen noodles (we'll say that was about 200c) and a cig.

The ramen is killing me.

And of course, I got invited out to dinner for a friends birthday.  UGHH, i can NOT eat out twice this week!  So I don't think I'm gonna go, i'll just say i have to work. 

But even after I ate all that, I weighed myself and I was down to 131!  Yipee!  So freakin' excited.

So i think that what i'm going to do know, since I ruined my whole coffee and diet soda diet is to not eat at all tomorrow (thursday) and then if i have to, eat lunch with my friend on friday and then blow off the dinner on saturday and start back on just coffee and cigs monday, until friday when I go visit my friend for the weekend.

Sounds good, yeah?

                                                             -Lola

Well, all i've done all day is sit around.  I just weighed myself and i'm still at 132 despite the fact that i broke down and had a pack of crackers (60c).  I also had 2 cups of coffee (120c). So that puts my total intake for today at 180c. I don't plan on eating anything else tonight, so i think i'll be cool.

Lol, I've been addicted to that show on Food Network "30 Minute Meals with Racheal Ray".  I watch it like everyday.

Anyway, that's all i really had to say.  Work tomorrow, so i won't be distracted by food for at least 7 hours.

                                             Mucho amor bitches,

                                                             Lola

Just as I predicted, b/c i slept all day yesterday, I have yet to go to sleep and it's already wednesday.  I was really tempted to eat all night and i managed to resist.  I just weighed myself :132

I'm ecstatic!  Words can't even express. I was so bummed, waiting to drop below 135.  I'm getting a little headache though, and my chest is hurting,  so i'm going to lay down and drink some water.

No work for me today, so hopefully i can stay away from food.  I bought some granola bars the other day, but i really don't want to eat those until i absolutely have to, like if i need to eat something solid to keep my metabloism up.

Have a great day girls!

                                                                    -Lola

I don't feel like putting up any thinspo right now, so I'm not.

Today has been pretty good.  i had to be at work at 6 and then I worked until eleven.  After work I had a large diet coke (0c) and then i came home and went to bed.  I only woke up about 2 hours ago, so i'm probably going to be up all night, which is a little scary b/c this diet is getting harder.I've been lightheaded and tired and I'm so hungry right now!  And it's not even one of those things where i'm ACTUALLY hungry, it's just that i want to eat, more out of habit than anything else.

I'm still at 135.  drinking all this coffee has helped me keep off the water weight during my period, but i haven't lost anything yet, but i have my fingers crossed that i'll drop at least 3 lbs before the end of the week.

So i'm just drinking coffee (50c) and maybe i'll have a cig later.  I'll just stay up and look at ana websites all night if I have to, but I am not going to be fat when i go visit my friend...

...iCAN'T be...

                                                               Trying to Stay Strong,

                                                                           Lola